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home : opinions : opinions August 29, 2014

11/6/2013 9:05:00 AM
Laughs for today
Brenda Harrison
Editor

Charlie Howle sends the following ‘laughs for today.’ Did I read that sign right? Toilet Out of Order. Please use floor below. In a Laundromat: Automatic Washing Machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. In a London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken. In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain? Notice in health food shop window: Closed due to illness Spotted in a safari park: Elephants Please stay in your car. Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor Notice in a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons On a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn’t work). Proofreading is a dying art. Consider the following headlines: Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead




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