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home : opinions : opinions September 30, 2014

1/7/2014 10:32:00 AM
Can you have a 'civil' war?
Brenda HArrison
Editor

Ponderings: What was the best thing before sliced bread? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? What if there were no hypothetical questions? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why do they lock gas station toilets? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? How is it possible to have a civil war? If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God? Why do shops have signs, 'guide dogs only', the dogs can't read and their owners are blind? When asked where's the self-help section in a bookstore, the clerk replied “if I told you, it would defeat the purpose.”




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