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Florence Living

home : opinions : opinions August 27, 2015

3/19/2014 10:27:00 AM
Southern'isms and what they mean
Brenda Harrison

A few more Southern sayings and what they mean...
•”Bless your heart.” Southern women drop this phrase a lot. But it might not mean what you think. In reality, the phrase has little to do with religion and more to do with a passive-aggressive way to call someone an idiot. Depending on your inflection, saying “bless your heart” can sting worse than any insult.
• “He’s got enough money to burn a wet mule.” In 1929, then-Governor of Louisiana Huey Long, nicknamed “The Kingfish,” tried to enact a five-cent tax on each barrel of refined oil to fund welfare programs. Naturally, Standard Oil threw a hissy fit and tried to impeach him on some fairly erroneous charges (including attending a drunken party with a stripper). But Long, a good ole’ boy, fought back. He reportedly said the company had offered legislators as much as $25,000 for their votes to kick him out of office – what he called “enough money to burn a wet mule.”
• He ain’t got the good sense God gave a goose.
• He’s so rich he buys a new boat when he gets the other one wet.
• She was madder than a wet hen. If you ever got a hen wet you’ll know what that means.
• He’s about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
• He doesn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of. That means someone is dirt poor.
• He’s drunk as Cooter Brown. Cooter Brown was famous for being a notorious drunk. So famous in fact that he has his own Wikipedia entry.
• She could start an argument in an empty house.
• He’s about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
• His elevator don’t go all the way to the top. He’s one fry short of a Happy Meal. Or, as old folks used to say, he don’t got all what belongs to him. All taken to mean, he or she is crazy.

Galloway Mosley
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