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home : opinions : opinions August 1, 2014

4/10/2014 9:43:00 AM
A few more 'paraprosdokians'
Brenda Harrison
Editor

A reader responded concerning last week’s column: the word should have been “paraprosdokian.” Thanks for correcting my error! A paraprosdokian is wordplay where the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret an earlier part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. Here are a few more “paraprosdokians”:

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lemon… and a shot of tequila.

War doesn’t determine who is right only who is left.

If I agreed with them we’d all be wrong!

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana- Groucho Marx

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

 Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but has to check when you say the paint is wet?

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing — after they’ve tried everything else.”- Winston Churchill

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they’re really doing is saying, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!”

“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.” ­– Will Rogers

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

“The car stopped on a dime, which unfortunately was in a pedestrian’s pocket.”

“I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.” – Mitch Hedberg




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