SLOAN COLUMN: Mulling over the return of the mullet
Aside from having your business in the front and your party in the back, what does one need to have to sport a championship caliber mullet?
“It’s all about style,” says Clint Duncan of Knoxville, Tn. “You have to own it.
” If anyone would know, it would be Duncan. The dude with the highlighted mane that has stylish bangs in the front and is closely cropped on both sides to show his actual darker hair color and a shaved lightning bolt design, was recently crowned king of the 2021 USA Mullet Championships. Let’s not put a crown on it, though. That mullet has to be seen in all of its glorious redneckishness. Yep, I made that word up.
Duncan was not the expected winner. There were several mullet “pros” who were considered favorites, but the rank amateur bested them all. After 10 days of voting and over 100,000 votes, Duncan took home the top prize in the online competition at www.mulletchamp.com. And his reward for having the most impressive mop? A trophy, $2,500 in cash, and a pair of Pit Viper sunglasses.
This was only the second contest Duncan had entered. His victory left the mullet world in utter disbelief. The Tennessean began growing the classic 80s look at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic in early 2020. He did so much to the chagrin of family.
“I thought he’d lost his ever lovin’ mind,” were the words of his dear, sweet wife.
“It started out as a joke,” he admitted to a local television reporter. “Didn’t think I’d keep it longer than a week and all the attention I got and positive feedback, it was hard to get rid of it.
” I suspect those sentiments have not changed. Who knows, maybe the lightning bolts on either side of his mullet can be replaced with sponsorships. Just a thought.
Duncan says there are benefits to rockin’ the same look as Mullet Hall of Famers like singers Billy Ray Cyrus and Blake Shelton, sports stars Andre Agassi, Jaromir Jagr and Randy Johnson, and actors Mario Lopez, Mel Gibson and Patrick Swayze. A couple of Joes (Dirt and Exotic) have their very own wing in the Hall.
“It feels better, it smells better, and it sounds better,” says Duncan. “You can hear it cracking in the wind when you’re on the lake or driving down the road on the interstate.” He said it’s hard to have a bad day when your hair looks as good as his.
And ladies, if you’re upset that Duncan and the guys are getting all the attention for their luxurious locks, don’t fret. The Femullet Championships are held every June. The Kids Division winner will be announced in September.
Like it or not, the mullet appears to be back. According to a report by Cosmetify.com, the mullet is actually the most-searched hairstyle of the past year with over 15.5 million searches. That’s a lot of mullet to mull over.
Don’t look for this editor to be sporting one anytime soon, though. Never had a mullet and I don’t intend to get one now. I went from long hair to high and tight in 1979 and have never looked back. I guess I’m all business, at least as far as my hair is concerned.
Back in the college days, several of my fraternity brothers had mullets. Dane spent more time in the bathroom grooming than the rest of us combined.
No mullet for me, thank you very much. Give me something manageable and low maintenance and I’m good to go.
For all those like Clint Duncan who believe the mullet rules, I’m right behind you. As Joe Dirt would say, life’s a garden- dig it, and keep on keeping on.
Long live the mullet – just not on me.