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The truth adults have learned

on Thursday, 24 September 2015. Posted in Columns, Opinions

A few adult truths from a Little Known

  • Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  • Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  • You wish you could take back all those times you didn’t want to nap when you were younger.
  • There is great need for a sarcasm font.
  • You still don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet?
  • Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5.
  • We should all know how to get out of our neighborhood.
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  • We can’t remember the last time we weren’t at least kind-of tired.
  • Bad decisions make good stories.
  • Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
  • I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10-page technical report that I did not make any changes to.
  • The freezer deserves a light as well. It is hard deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  • How many times is it appropriate to say “what” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear a word someone said?
  • Don’t you love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  • Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey, but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three-feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
  • The first testicular guard, the “cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

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